the process

the wai-ai-ting is the hardest part.

it's a long process, and i don't even know all the details yet.  now all i can do is wait.  but i've done everything i can to get the ball rolling:

• the 33-page Volunteer Application which also included two essays and my resume (the resume was my biggest hurdle, believe it or not.)
• the 9-page Health Status Review
• three 4-page personal references
• three academic transcripts mailed in
• 2 sets of fingerprints
• a National Agency Check Form (security clearance as far as i can tell)

and that was "Step One".

after all of this, i have to wait for them to ask for more paperwork or answers to questions they may have,  decide i am potentially qualified, and contact me to set up an interview.  "Step Two".

"Step Three" includes evaluating my candidacy and nominating me for a general area -- basically just a recommendation that i move on to the next stage.

"Step Four" could be the hairy part.  this is where i have to get medical clearance, dental clearance, legal clearance, and undergo suitability and competitive reviews.  wow.  medical history forms, dental exams & x-rays, eye exams, lab work, full physical, and possibly a psych eval -- this is where we find out whether the sleep apnea or any other health issues will disqualify me.  the only wildcard, i think, in the whole process.  there won't be any issues as to whether i am legal, suitable and competitive.  but they do have to do all the assessments.

"Step Five" is the invitation, where I find out for sure whether, where, and for what they want me.  that's the turning back point.  wheels up 2-3 months after this point.

"Step Six" includes scary things like plane tickets and in-country training.  eek.


right about now is when i need reassurance that i'm doing the right thing...

span-eutch

my brain is a strange place.  it doesn't learn like most people's brains do, especially when learning a language.

when i was in germany learning to speak german, i did not learn most from having stickies with the german word on items throughout my apartment.  i didn't learn best from listening to tapes or even from studying vocabulary lists.  no, i learned from studying a book on german grammar.  my "cheat sheet" was a chart of definite and indefinite pronouns for each part of speech and tense taped on my bathroom mirror.  yep, strange place.

i discovered then another language oddity of mine.  i have a "language switch" in my brain.  it wasn't "English/German" however.  it's more like "English/non-English".  when first learning german, i kept coming up with spanish words for things, having had years of spanish in school.  now if i try to come up with a spanish word, i can mostly only come up with the german.  i've almost completely lost my spanish, despite 6 years in school and a semester at college.

now that i'm hoping to be accepted into the Peace Corps and planning for placement in central or south america, i need to get that spanish back.  the words aren't all gone – if i hear or see one, i can often tell you what it is.  every once in a while, i see an item and the spanish word for it pops into my brain.  i can even more-or-less read spanish, but i can not come up with it when I need to in any reliable sense. 

so as I re-learn spanish, will it simply push the german right back out of my head?  or create an overly-confused mishmash of words that don't go together?  is it still in there somewhere?  once i get back into it, will i still at least be able to read german if not speak it?

it's bad enough that there are still times i know the german word for something but have trouble recalling its english equivalent.  but here's the part that really makes me worry:  oftentimes i can come up with the word for something, knowing it's the right word, but unsure whether it's the german or spanish word for that object.  i have to really think hard about it, and even then i sometimes can't be sure which language it is.

then there's grammar.  german grammar is so complicated and nothing like english or spanish.  what if I remember the spanish words before my "language switch" finds the right setting?  what is the spanish translation for "if we tomorrow to the store to go would like, take we the subway"?

safety nets and other mythical creatures

20 years is 20 years.  or, more accurately, it looks like 21 years won't become 22.

in the "can't hurt to ask" department, i sent an email directly to William Clay Ford Jr. asking whether FoMoCo might consider giving a longer-than-usual unpaid leave to someone going into the peace corps.  the short version of the story is "no."

i had hoped that since Bill Ford believes in such causes and the company prides itself on being globally community-minded, there would be a chance.  none of our leave policies specifically allow for it, but bits and pieces put together could do it.  more than one friend had even suggested i could become a whole new tv ad about the company doing good around the world.  but alas, i must say i'm not terribly surprised they weren't willing to make an exception.  well, i gave it a shot.

although i'm pretty sure that i wouldn't want to come back to ford after being in the peace corps -- i'm planning on finding other more satisfying directions to head in when my service is done -- it would have been a nice safety net to ease my mind.  i mean, who in their right mind gives up such a well-paying job in this kind of an economy to go "commune with snakes" and make just enough to eat and have a roof?!

well, that could be a long discussion right there.

for now, i'll just say, "apparently, me."  on my way into work this morning, i was feeling particularly ready to be done.  i didn't know i'd be receiving that response today, but that's how i was feeling.  it's a strange thought to consider giving up such a long career just like that.  july will be 21 years.  and it's been filled with adventures and unique experiences.  when i first started at ford, i thought it was funny that i'd be eligible to retire with 30 years of service at only 51.  and i felt sure that i'd continue on after that.  then there were the years when i thought there was no way i'd make it to 20.  now i may really be looking at the end of the era.

shouldn't this feel more significant?  or at least come with a foreboding soundtrack in the background?

maybe i've had enough time to get used to the idea. or the time i came within hours of being laid off took a little bit of the edge off the blade.  or maybe it's just the Right Thing.

it's been a good 20 years.  now that i'm ready for it, the peace corps better accept me.

the fam

i've been slowly telling people about my plan.  as you can imagine, there have been a variety of reactions.  my family, in particular, have some concerns.  what about your job?  what will you do with the house?  this is such a terrible time to leave a solid, well-paying job.  it's a horrible time to try to sell a house – are you going to lose money?  and of course, concerns about making a large, important decision in a time of great transition or emotion.

all valid concerns.  all very parental and caring and legitimate.

i guess maybe i shouldn't have been telling people so "slowly."  i didn't want to say anything until i had really made the decision, but that makes it surprising for those who didn't know i was considering it.  in fact, very few people knew that i was considering it at all.  i'd mentioned it a few times in the last couple years, but i guess not very memorably.  perhaps even just flip-ly.  but like so many other things in my life, it has percolated in my brain for a long time.  like my college application essays, or important letters I've written, something happens in my brain when i'm sleeping or not actively thinking about things.  thoughts coalesce, concepts clear, words form, things come together.  this process has been ongoing for a long time.

years, even.  i've been unhappy at my job for a long, long time.  varying degrees of unhappy, mind you, but not truly enjoying it or satisfied or feeling challenged or interested.  not really using the parts of my heart and brain that are so vital to me.  for many years, i've wished i could do something more involved with design.  companies like IDEO and EVO Design do amazing things from toys and consumer products to sustainable designs for health care and high-tech innovations, etc., etc.  then a few years ago i saw an exhibit at the Walker in Minneapolis called "Design for the Other 90%."  THIS is what fits *me*.  Functional designs that change lives in developing countries.  creative solutions that make sense in the existing environment, using readily-available resources for inexpensive answers.  if i could find a company that did just this…  well, there is someone who leads such a venture – Amy Smith of MIT, who, incidentally, was in the Peace Corps.  She leads students doing exactly that.  if only i were still an MIT student…

against that background, the Peace Corps makes sense.  no, i don't expect to be doing that kind of design exactly, but it fits with my interests.  it allows me to make a contribution in a place where it's needed.  i get to learn another culture and language, which i've done before and loved.  and it's a good launching point for discovering what i want to do next, where and how, in addition to being a magnificent end unto itself.

finally, i'm ready for a change.  for significant change.  for simplifying.  for doing something new.  for starting over in many ways.

while it may be shocking to others, none of these thoughts are new to me.  and seriously, have you met me?  have i ever made a rash decision in my life?

job, house and money?  those are questions for another time.

motivation

it's official:  i have now completed and submitted my application to the peace corps!

here is what i submitted as my "motivation statement" essay --

A few years ago, I saw an exhibit called “Design For the Other 90%.”  The exhibit featured simple and sustainable design solutions for issues faced by people in less-developed countries.  For years I have wanted to be involved in creating innovative design solutions.  For years I’ve wanted to do something more meaningful with my work.  For years, I have wanted to do more.  This exhibit defined my dream job.  After more than 20 years as an engineer in the automotive industry, I want to do things that make a bigger difference in the world.  Working to make safe products that are more affordable and sustainable is good, but not enough.  I want to contribute in a more meaningful way, in a situation where my efforts can have a more significant and direct impact and perhaps even change lives.  As I’ve considered how I’d like to pursue a second career, I have considered finding a creative, contributing design job, becoming a teacher (I am nearly certified), or entering into non-profit management.  My experience and interests are well-suited for any of these pursuits and dovetail perfectly with the goals and activities of the Peace Corps.  Furthermore, I find myself at a perfect point in my life to become a Peace Corps volunteer:  ready to embrace change, work hard, and take on a new adventure.

I do not anticipate difficulty in fulfilling any of the 10 Core Expectations.  I have lived in and integrated into another culture before.  I have successfully represented a company both professionally and responsibly for many years.  I have learned to engage and cooperate with people in different and sometimes difficult circumstances.  If I had to pick one expectation on which I would have to work hardest, it would be #4.  While I have no doubt about my ability to adapt and contribute, I have become rather fond of some cultural conveniences such as internet access to keep in touch with family and friends (and a life without very large snakes and spiders).  It is certainly possible there will be internet access and other modern amenities where I am assigned, but it is also certain there will be some differences and hardships that will challenge me.  I intend to take them on as I have always taken on challenges in my life:  with an open mind and a vision of the larger picture.  I am fully prepared to simplify my life and live with and as the people of another culture do.  It is my firm belief that living in a community and becoming a part of it is one of the most rewarding ways to experience another culture.

my first blog ever

we'll have to see how this goes -- i've not historically been good at keeping up with writing.  but after almost two years in germany, after which i wished i'd kept a better record on unique things i saw and experienced, i thought there's no time like the present.

and there's no time like the present because... i'm applying to the peace corps!

i've worked as an engineer in the auto industry long enough.  i've yearned long enough to do something that makes a real difference.  i've looked at and longed after jobs that would use my creativity and provide me a challenge and wake up my brain and soul simultaneously.  now is the time to act.

so hopefully i'll be accepted and we can all have a fascinating journey together through this blog.